“I tell ya, with my wife there’s always something. Like the other night, she said to me, ‘When’s the last time you thought about taking me out to dinner?’ I told her, ‘It was right after the last meal you cooked at home.’” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“No respect at all, are you kidding? I was arrested for jaywalking. The crowd kept yelling, ‘Don't take him alive!’” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“What a doctor. I called him up, I told him I had diarrhea. He put me on hold.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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“When I was a kid, I went through plenty. One of the first times I hitchhiked, I got beat up. I used the wrong finger.” | Rodney Dangerfield
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