“And my kids, they don’t help either...” | Rodney Dangerfield

“What a doctor. I called him last week. I told him, ‘Doc, I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.’ He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.” | Rodney Dangerfield

“I tell ya, life isn’t easy. My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy. I said, ‘If you don’t mind, I’d like a second opinion.’ He said, ‘Alright, you’re ugly too.’” | Rodney Dangerfield

“What a doctor. I called him up, I told him I had diarrhea. He put me on hold.” | Rodney Dangerfield